Welcome to Food



There are so far 9 mayos:
Donald Mayo (aka. Master Minion, Donald Mayo, Grand Wizard of the Minion Memes Mambo (MMM))
Mr. Slippy
The Pale Man

There is also 1 known mayo subset:
Donald Mayo Takes the West (All but 3 die, which follows with Donald Mayo takes Flight)

initial communications log (Commune, 20,5,16. around 8:30::
[20/05/16, 8:38:51 PM] Donald Mayo: Mayo out
[20/05/16, 8:44:12 PM] Squid: mayo2 in
[20/05/16, 8:44:45 PM] Squid: just saying that the six hundred and thirty second season of Flash episode 7 was actually really gaad
[20/05/16, 8:45:09 PM] Squid: like the writing was amazingly bood but the VFX were just shtunning
[20/05/16, 8:45:24 PM] Squid: i reccomend -10/10
[20/05/16, 8:45:31 PM] Squid: with a side of fries
[20/05/16, 8:45:51 PM] Squid: and if you dont eat your salad you gonna have runny poos
[20/05/16, 8:45:56 PM] Squid: so eat your greens
[20/05/16, 8:46:02 PM] Squid: (pig)
[20/05/16, 8:46:10 PM] Squid: apparently this silly pig has something to do with green
[20/05/16, 8:46:30 PM] Shuluzela: I thought that was fibre (red) (red) (red)
[20/05/16, 8:47:00 PM] Squid: Today's Dietitian
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July 2008 Issue
The Top Fiber-Rich Foods Lis
By Sharon Palmer, RD
Today's Dietitian
Vol. 10 No. 7 P. 28
Today's Dietitian is doing its part to push the fiber intake of Americans with its fabulous list of the highest fiber foods people should be eating today.
Many areas of nutrition tend to elicit controversy, but dietary fiber is usually not one of them. Scientific evidence links fiber intake to a plethora of health benefits, including treating and preventing constipation, hemorrhoids, and diverticulosis; decreasing blood cholesterol levels, which protects against certain forms of cancer; and increasing satiety to help control weight.
There are a number of health benefits for fiber. The most promising benefit that is receiving more and more attention is fiber's role in immune health. We know that cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and obesity have underlying inflammatory processes. Dietary fiber may play a role to modulate the immune system and therefore produce a decreased risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer, and obesity. There is wonderful, intriguing work going on in this area now, says Roger A. Clemens, DrPH, CNS, FACN, FIFT, a professor in the regulatory science program in the School of Pharmacy at the University of Southern California and a volunteer scientific spokesperson for the Institute of Food Technologists with more than 30 years of experience in the field.
Consumers are cued into fiber's health benefits. According to a 2007 International Food Information Council survey, 86% of consumers linked fiber with a healthy digestive system and 73% associated whole grains with heart disease
[20/05/16, 8:47:30 PM] Squid: et on the bran wagon sharn
[20/05/16, 8:47:38 PM] Squid: the topp one is oat bran
[20/05/16, 8:47:40 PM] Squid: eaten raw
[20/05/16, 8:47:50 PM] Squid: so im coming over right now
[20/05/16, 8:48:00 PM] Squid: with a massive bulk buy box of oat bran
[20/05/16, 8:48:19 PM] Squid: and we are going to eat that shit so we don't make a sloppy mess of the toilets from now on
[20/05/16, 8:48:20 PM] Shuluzela: no ples
[20/05/16, 8:48:30 PM] Squid: spoon-fed
[20/05/16, 8:48:45 PM] Shuluzela: Oscar pls
[20/05/16, 8:48:47 PM] Shuluzela: I cant
[20/05/16, 8:48:49 PM] Squid: mr gunn with his fairy wings will be watching over us
[20/05/16, 8:49:11 PM] Squid: im currently under grey lynn park
[20/05/16, 8:49:22 PM] Squid: i'll be over after i take a brief trip to neptune
[20/05/16, 8:49:33 PM] Squid: there's a secret base there with a bunch of great snacks
[20/05/16, 8:49:36 PM] Squid: oat bran included
[20/05/16, 8:49:44 PM] Squid: we are going to get jacked up
[20/05/16, 8:49:46 PM] Squid: ass-wise
[20/05/16, 8:49:50 PM] Squid: or more poop-wise
[20/05/16, 8:49:52 PM] Shuluzela: mm
[20/05/16, 8:49:59 PM] Squid: there it is
[20/05/16, 8:50:01 PM] Shuluzela: plump jacked ass
[20/05/16, 8:50:10 PM] Squid: yeah PLUMP
[20/05/16, 8:51:20 PM] Squid: Mr. Gunn has just delivered a message to me saying its all go
[20/05/16, 8:51:26 PM] Squid: ETA 2 minutes
[20/05/16, 8:51:49 PM] Squid: i have a megagram of oat bran
[20/05/16, 8:51:56 PM] Squid: with a side of fries
[20/05/16, 8:52:01 PM] Squid: mr gunn
[20/05/16, 8:52:18 PM] Squid: some hot babes from neptune
[20/05/16, 8:52:22 PM] Squid: and our salad
[20/05/16, 8:52:27 PM] Squid: this is going to be the spoon feed of a lifetime
[20/05/16, 8:52:31 PM] Squid: get ready
[20/05/16, 8:52:35 PM] Squid: ETA 30 seconds

[20/05/16, 8:52:56 PM] Squid: ah shit hold this case there's been an interruption
[20/05/16, 8:53:29 PM] Squid: couple of galaxies away donald mayo has been reported to have risen from coal hell
[20/05/16, 8:53:34 PM] Squid: and he's back with a vengeance
[20/05/16, 8:53:46 PM] Squid: mayo was once out
[20/05/16, 8:53:48 PM] Squid: is now back in
[20/05/16, 8:53:56 PM] Squid: I, mayo2 am in danger
[20/05/16, 8:54:00 PM] Squid: this oat bran will have to wait
[20/05/16, 8:54:16 PM] Squid: i apologize for any inconvenience sharn
[20/05/16, 8:54:24 PM] Squid: may the bran be with your wagon
[20/05/16, 8:54:27 PM] Squid: mayo2 out
[20/05/16, 8:54:36 PM] Shuluzela: good bye mayo2 <3

[20/05/16, 9:35:41 PM] Donald Mayo: OG-Mayo in
[20/05/16, 9:35:45 PM] Donald Mayo: I HATE YOU GUYS
[20/05/16, 9:35:50 PM] Donald Mayo: OG-Mayo out

donald mayo from Coal Hell has not communicated anything as of yet

Mayo is a mundane earth dweller who resides in a box

mayo2 is an inter dimensional traveller who has contacts over a couple of universes

Donald Mayo is a chaotic evil heaven lord who has a tyrannical ruling over an inter planetary armada of minion armies, he recently rose again from the tar slough in coal hell, and he seeks vengeance against those who imprisoned him

OG-Mayo is an ancient being from the dark times, he is immensely powerful and despite his seemingly mundane appearance, is on Donald Mayo and mayo2 levels of magic prowess.

TOMATO MAN seemingly appeared from nowhere at all, but was actually a well known crime lord on various planets he knew he shouldn’t have been on. Characterised by his glowing red tomato like skin.

Mackie is a multimillion dollar business owner and entrepreneur in multiple industries. He has deep crime connections and knows far too much about too many people. Mundane as he may be, he has ways to completely fuck people overHas contacts over the reach of the galaxy. Mackie Huge-Ham

Mr slippy is a notorious agent from the same planet as Mayo. Unlike Mayo, mr slippy is completely capable of getting off earth if he needs to, but chooses to stay on earth for a multitude of reasons. He lacquers himself up with custom made lubricants and wears no clothing whatsoever. He has achieved 0. Friction o earth as even air slips past him

The pale man is the first lieutenant to the white knight

Donald mayo takes the west consists of::
The Don, controls all

The Nut, he’s just nuts

The kid, rebellious

Bob and Bill mayo, the same person

Uncle sam, powerful and crazed for power

Voodoo man, knows magic

Master Minion, AKA Donald Mayo from the normal list of mayos. Same description applies other than that this proves that he is cross reality and that if he were able to break the inter dimensional barrier like mayo2 he would be far too powerful to overcome

eace man is a well known embodiment of peace, and has a ruling over a vast majority of the south {SEE CEACELAND PAGE, CEACELAND IS NOW IN THE SOUTH OF THE PLANET}


4 corners of ceaceland, has 4 corners, ne, s, sw, e

Neaceman of the north east, is niece of them all, only 6ft9, pink

Sweaceman of the south east, represents all the sweets in the land but has a evil heart and controls acomplicated child slaverynetwork of umpy stumpees, an enslaved race who used to rule the lands.

Eaceman of the east, yellow, promotes peace, but lost the p in peace in the war between neaceman and deaceman and

Deaceman of the decent part of country, he just sits around, the King of the deaceile kingdom, has a late night talk show I'm a decent guy. Deaceile kingdom contains the slums

Sleaceman is from the sleazy slums of the country, massive at 7'2" off town. All goodball trees are sleazeball trees in the slums

Weaceman is in ??? In city ???, and elder teacher, wrote the Gooooooooooood boook which states that ceaceland knows no gods, only war

All roughly 7ft, formless, have one glowing right eye

6ft10 good ball trees, have fluffy nuts which require special tools to crack

Umpy stumpys are 6'2", the umpy stumpys were taken from the mines of mingus where the umpy stumpys lined the walls in their little houses called billips, and their leader, an umpy stumpy called Felix, felix was a very short umpy stumpy at 1ft tall, but had a big heart of gold, wore massive genie pants which lead his people to success.

The genie pants were lost, sweeceman melted them and drank the mystical juicewhich turned them evil.

Slurmples are slug worms in the ground, umpy stumpys used to just eat these by cutting off the tail and slurping the juices out, but are evolving to eat the good balls

Yeace for time, meace for length

The Master Minion

Grand Wizard of the Minion Memes Mambo (MMM)

Donald Mayo

Corruption of the Food Galaxy

The Deposit into Coal Hell

MM was trying to attain some more cheap battle cruisers for a cheap price. This went well and he added the cruisers to the fleet, but MM hadn't realised that these were demarked stolen ships and the original owners found the thief not too long after MM left after the deal. MM had wanted to keep this an undercover trade, so he had brough his 3rd in command ship, but with a full crew. Little did MM know that he was about to lose that entire crew. Around 1500 different minions all assigned to various aspects of the ship. If anything were to go wrong he would know, and he did. The owners were on his tail, with more than 10 ships. Big cruisers like the ones he had on tail. The owners disconnected the autoplot thethers the cruisers had, and boarded the the crewed minion ship. The crew was slaughtered. 100 were left in the bridge section, which had been locked down. The owners smashed their way through, killed the crew and continued to head command only to find Donald Mayo calmly standing there. The owners were in slight shock to see the MM here himself, which MM used to his advantage, and got a surprise attack, pointing quickly at the first owner he looked at. That owner fell down dead. They then didn't wait around. The owners wittled the MM down while they also brought invincishackes from one of their ships, and managed to get them on MM. Two owners had died in the process but they now had MM in such a way that they could take him places. His magic had been disabled and he pretty much couldn't move. The owners knew they couldn't kill MM so they thought of the worst torture possible and flew to Coal Hell. When they were hovering over the only non-portal entrance, they shot him out through the garbage chute and left.

The TarPits & Descent to Madness...

Unable to move, talk, use external magic, let alone escape, MM was routed to the tar pits of Coal Helll and for 3 months sank through the thousands of layers of tar falls. Coal Skeletons would watch in surprise as it was the first time in a long time that they had seen someone still alive in Coal Hell. One Coal Skeleton took enough pity to use diamond daggers to cut him free, MM couldn't be more thankful, and took the skeletons onto his vast crew, demoting a few of the higher rank minions tasked to his Prime ship. For the whole of the three months the MMM was in a low down stealth mode, self sustaining and keeping strong. And what some saw as madness in MM's actions that followed when he escaped Coal Hell with the skeletons, MM saw it as a plan. He had 3 months to sit and think, with only the sounds of tar falling down to the abyss. He there planned a majority of his ideas which he had briefly brewed over in the past before he would be whisked away by something more important. The first of MM's actions was to destroy the owners of the cruisers, which he did with ease. Next he restructured and cleaned out his Minion armies, which hadn't been done since the first one was formed. MM's several armadas of ships were reordered and given different command positions. The order of armadas was perfected to a find point, optimised for assault on planets, MM had a great deal of resource which he needed back, and he knew exactly which planets he needed to raid for them. His first stop was a planet with a whole lot of fabric, so much so that the inhabitants just about breathed it. He ordered 2 ships to raid from his main armada, they were tasked with taking over the planet for uniform production, as the old blue uniform just wasn't good enough. Soon MM had a force of death more powerful than the Pizza Guard of the food Galaxy, which he knew, so he stormed the walls, and despite being met by heavy retaliation he managed to bust through.

Corruption of the 7th band of the Food Galaxy

Donald Mayo stood atop the head ship, he had infiltrated the food galaxy's 7th band, he was also getting shot at by the Pizza Assassin Group, but it didn't matter because MM had what he wanted, and retreated everything suddenly, the Pizza Guard as a whole felt satisfied and left, but not all was as it seemed. On the very tip of the 7th band, on a small dry forest moon around a blue fizzoe particle giant, a single minion scout shuttle had snuck in, on board was an elite squad of minions and a void door linked to on of MM's biggest ships, which was then linked to coutless other locations in the verse. The otherside to this was despite the Pizza Guard already patching up the barrier, MM had direct access with 0 loss as soon as the minions set up the door, which didn't take long at all. The dry forest moon became MM's base of devious operations for a long time, to this day even.

Scotty Dog and the 10 Tiers of Following

Scotty Dog is a physical God who resides in the sand desert plane with Jonah Hill. Zarina is elsewhere in Desert2. Scotty Dog resembles a giant Scottish Terrier with black fur, is immensely powerful and has an order of disciples.

Once, Scotty Dog had an inverse coutnerpart, ArchScotty, who challenged Scotty Dog many a time. However, knowledge of ArchScotty's existance is seldom as MM used to have contact with them. Eventually MM grew tired of ArchScotty's ways, and destroyed him, inheriting almost all of his power, what MM misesed was inheriting th full god-like power, and as a result missed the opportunity to become a god himself. Despite that fact, he now had almost as much magical prowess as Scotty Dog BUT couldn't use it on a large scale at all, so he had no choice but to continue using and expanding the MMM as time went on. Womewhere in his plans, he wants to destroy Scotty Dog.

Land of the Burgers


Meetings between OG-Mayo and the First Disciple to the Scotty Dog have been underway over the past couple of waltomeace within the interspacial concord in the deep where discussions have been underway, suggesting that an effort will be made to amend the problems in the beverage circletgalaxy which encompasses Food. There is also a chance that more mayos have been scribed by fate into the purple tome of mayo, which is alarming for OG-Mayo and mayo2, as there is a chance of new threats emerging from different planes, dimensions, realities, universes, or even just other galaxies. Hard to say really. Stay tuned in the future for more juicy tidbits emerging around the Land of the Burgers.

Burger Weacely signing off.

π•Ώπ–π–Š π•―π–Žπ–˜π–ˆπ–”π–šπ–—π–˜π–Š


"Oh.my lord guys I just walked into my lounge for dinner onlu to be greeted by a large wide eyed and mouthed puppet lady setting in the middle of the table waving at me

Ah it's sharm"

Donald Mayo, some date

Donald Mayo, 10:23 18/2/17
"i just thought that you'd all want to see this..."
?mayo??, today
The Discourse, 2017
"Nice Nice Nice!"
The Discourse, 2017
"i will marry you donald"
The Discourse, 2017
The Discourse, 2017
The Discourse, 2017
The Discourse, 2017
The Discourse, 2017

Watch out!

Not all mayos are what they seem

It is not at all okay to just approach a mayo at a spaceport assuming that they are harmless and / or friendly. Chances are, they're not! You could be speaking to one of the highest powered mayo's known in the book. For them to turn on you on the spot would be . . . unforunate, to say the least.

If you see a mayo who is a known criminal, report it to the nearest SctDg bureau

Scotty Dog

The God. The Legend.

At the center of it all.